We did it. We made it through the Holidaze, well haven’t checked on Spare O today, but I am assuming we all did and now we kick off the 13th season of Bowl Portland. If you take some time to think about that it is truly amazing. Two dudes opened a bowling alley restaurant based off this league and well here we are. Also, big shoot out to Mona Laudly and her dude Pete (bowling name escapes me) on their engagement over the holidays!
Again, PSA these lines and podcasts aren’t to be taken seriously it is called a joke. Get over it.
YB3 -1 versus My Balls: Man, we have a Thursday night slugfest right off the bat. Both teams worked the waiver wire to retool. 15th iteration of Young and the Bowled adding King Ding Dong and La Ga, and My Balls going from Thursday A doormat loading up bringing in top gun Frankie Abralon and Spidey to round out a squad of Cygnus, Luna, Lefty and Ice Ice formidable for sure, but I see a ton of depth and top line power on YB3. All Day and LaGa gives them one of the best ladytandems in the league. Crackerjack, King Ding, Pistol Pete and Itz leaves these guys loaded with mid-level depth. This will be a back and forth snoozefest from a couple of the lightest partying bowl first teams in the league. I expect Frankie and CJ to battle on left side of the lane, but for YB to eat up 2-4 points and squeak it out. To Frankie:
Edit: Jesus fucking Christ those teams don’t even play each other, well we don’t edit…..
Guacabowle -10 versus Touch Thursday A’s new Get Pounded by Everyone Team: Touch had a lot of movement and lost a ton of pins with LaGa and Squatch excommunicating. They now are comprised of Chatty, 8 Bit, Uno, Lucky Charms, Lil Bit, and Potato Thumb (yikes!), fun crew for sure but with Spare of the Turd gone these guys will struggle to find one or two wins. Guac brings everyone back and they have been putting in the work, I expect them to cruise in this one. Here is Dick W at Howie’s after the match:
Nice shorts idiot; get your shit together man, dude went full plumber on us.
My Balls -8 versus Average Eskibros: This squad went from a loss to a win. Average B’s are a fucking mess. Last we saw Dentist he was rolling lefthanded, Northpaw and Soccer D are dealing with medical issues, Southpaw can’t make it, they picked up Bowl Murray who is a career 120 lady, and I use that term extremely loosely, and they have Fisher Price rounding out the squad who has been putting time in. My Balls, as you can see from lines above, are loaded and will end this game in 2. Here is Bowl Murray meeting the dudes on Bros for the first time:
Game of the Night:
LOS -5 versus YB15: Wow this is a match right here. LOS went straight fuck you and stole Mama D from OC who used to be good on Tuesday nights like Bingas did. These guys have had multiple team practices and have been putting up huge scores. YB is no slouch but probably will only win points in the games that Stiffy rolls in. As noted above YB2 is loaded, but this is LOS’ house. Go LOS in this one. Here are Stiffy and Strike Dancer after the match:
Wow they were not psyched to be sitting all 3 opening night, that said this is the way:
Happy New Year folks, now go on fuck yourselves!