A Farmer

Welcome to February, or as I like to call it, The Drinking Month of Farmer (aka TDMOF).  Dry January in the books, I slept like a champ, dare I say I lost a little weight, and now it’s time to dial it in for the heart of the BoPo season.  I will do all the A lines this week, leaving the B lines to Thunder.  You’re Welcome.


Y&B2 (-3) v. Hexy’s Hooligans – Y&B has now suffered back to back defeats, but don’t let that fool ya.  This team is very good, and they will win a ton of games, as many as 6, this season.  Hexy’s new team has really gotten into the swing of things, and are a great addition to Thursday A.  Lots of cool cats on the team, and they are very capable of winning a lot of points against anyone.

But let’s not forget Hexy lost to TDYOB, and if you can lose to Bork, you can definitely lose to Y&B.  Y&B are very good, andhave no weak links on the team at all.  Expect a steady dose of great scores that should be enough to carry the day.  

Quick look in on Tommy Torpedo and Clam Hands at work today.  This is how they stay so nimble:

Have to admit, was never a big Office guy.  Never that into it, and probably can’t tell you the plot of any episode.  But I think it hits the mark with a lot of you readers.


GOB (-1) V. BUI – We all thought GOB was going to be this awesome team on Thursday, and all they’ve done the past 2 weeks is get beat in 2 games...twice!  We didn’t have high expectations for BUI, and all they’ve done is post a team average almost 30 pins higher than GOB.  So it makes perfect sense to pick GOB in this one.

This is an early match, and the bowling dorks for GOB prefer that.  They like to tell these weird stories that there is oil down on the lanes, and after people bowl a lot the lanes change, like the “oil” changes or something.  I heard Splinter say things like “The carry down is making the ball read a little early” or some shit like that.  Guy’s living in La La Land.  Next thing he’ll tell me the second pin from the left as you look at them is actually the 4 pin.

Duke Thunderwood and Snapshot are leading the way for BUI, but in an early match I will take GOB.  Snapshot’s been reading the lines lately about Duke’s massage skillz, but he said he couldn’t afford his rates, so he tried his luck at the mall:

My advice:  pay the man next time!


My Balls (-3) v. TDYOB – My Balls are now the 5th Thursday team to get their average over 700 pins as a team.  Not too shabby.  I’m pretty sure we have rolled over 700 a couple times this year.  Also not too shabby.

On paper, it doesn’t look too good for the folks of Bork.  But we will be playing this one on the lanes, not on paper.  And we will be playing late.  And loud.  And drunk (did I mention it is TDMOF?).  And even the steady rolling of Cygnus, Frankie, or Kernal Sanders (whoever he is) will be impacted by the TDYOB tomfoolery.  I see their team average dipping below 700 after this match, but they will still find a way to win, and go home much later than a normal Thursday night at Bayside.  And they all have an AARP coffee meeting at 8 am Friday, so they will be stressed as they watch the clock go tick tock tick tock tick tock….

This is why TDYOB could never work in the same office:

Thunder does love his golf shirts…Did you know Munson is from Philly?  Here’s what his life in PA was like:


DHD (-5) v. Tattoos and Titties – This is no slam on T&T, more of a vote of confidence in DHD, who are hitting their stride and look like one of the contenders for the Thursday A crown.

T&T stubbed their toe last week, and their team average is in free fall.  DHD rolled a combined 74 games of practice last week, and said they could have rolled more if Hungus didn’t close early last weekend and stay closed on Monday.  By the way, here was a highlight from the Bayside staff party on Monday:

I see DHD winning comfortably in this one.  And I also see Lil’ Pickle tearing it up tonight, and having a few too many, ending in this:


I feel I may owe Doc Moose and G-Force an apology for that. Well, maybe it’s Lil’ Pickle that I should apologize to.  Or not.Ah, Fuck it.  Moving on….


Guacabowle (-5) v. Leisure Rolls – And the beat goes on.  Another week, another Leisure Rolls loss.  Guac has had some of the worst luck of the season thus far, sporting a 700+ team average and only 1 win.  Leisure Rolls have 1 win, but they also have the averages that support it.

When I look at the Leisure Rolls roster, they have the ability toscore much higher.  Beer Hunter is definitely not a 150 guy.  That average is going up tonight.  Dutch should be there tonight after missing a few matches with odd scheduling conflicts, so we can plan on him to be good and hammered for the late match, so his average may slide a bit….classic Dutch.  Here was Insanal when Magic told the team Dutch (Dutch’s real name is Robbie) would be suiting up this week:

Mitch and Badger are too much for the Leisure Rolls.  Give me Guac by 5.


LOS (-7) v. Lion’s Den – Lion’s Den picked a tough week to get LOS.  They absolutely crushed it last week, averaging over an 800 with Double Cheese rolling exactly zero games.  Putt Putt upped his average almost 17 pins last week.  Precious went up 10.  Even Stiffy went up almost 9 (not that hard to do, the guy was in the 150’s!).  Cheese’s pep talk to Stiffy:

Lion’s Den is coming off a huge win against T&T last week, and Jem moved her average over 25 pins on the night.  Bask in the glow of that victory, Lion’s Den, because it ain’t happening tonight.  Mokiki’s bonding with his daughter:

That may be the most immature video I have ever used….and that’s saying something!  But I did laugh.


So awesome to see the little MokikiDuck at the lanes hunting down a 6 pound ball to hold as her own!!


OK, enough already.  See you tonight.  Looking forward to buying a bucket of American Coronas!


Babes of Bayside hit the symphony!


2 thoughts on “A Farmer

  1. Hungus is out of town has the lines and will post them when he is back from enjoying nature; therefore, they are delayed a bit.

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