Feels good to be back! I’m sure you all missed me. I missed you shitsacks, too. Been some good bowling going on! Let’s not waste any time and get right into it. But before we do, whoever has been reading the lines to Cleaner, just stop, and please get that guy some warm milk and a pacifier. I have never seen someone get so fussy at some jokes. What do you have to be bitchy about? You’re bowling well! It’s like you’re having a hard time seeing that fact or something. At the very least that these are meant to be taken lightly, a break from the mundane if you will. Anyways, enjoy the lines!
Oddballs vs. BEER (-7)
BEER can’t stop winning. Hungus with the tongue-in-cheek “remember when we were good?” is paying off big. Because if you can’t remember how good they were due to being new to the league, or you’re just not that old – it’s sure hard to not see how good y’all are now. Cerrano and Brooklyn need to come up big in this game, but it’s not gonna be enough to stop Hungus, Legend, and Railroad. Here’s BEER showing Oddballs a good time … https://www.youtube.com/watch?
Bingas (-6) vs. Skol
If the Oddballs/BEER game isn’t the game of the week, this is. Skol is strong, but Bingas is on fire! These cats are really bowling like a team, and have found their stride. Their energy is infectious! I have two predictions for this game. One team will party their face off (Bingas) one team will not (Skol), one team will win (Bingas) and one team will not (Skol). Maybe if you drank like your ancestors you’d be at the top of your pack, lookin at you, Skol. Here’s some nerd that brings more to the party than all of Skol combined… https://www.youtube.com/watch?
Saucy Posse vs. SOD (-1)
This one’s a tough one. I should place a bet with Holden on this game, but that kid is too busy checking his bank account to give everyone their bets back from last year. Fucking guy can’t hit the broad side of a barn lately. Sons are thirsty to hit .500, and I think they’ll pull this one out. Pineapple’s been putting in work, she gets the bottom point to take the match in a nailbiter. Here Lil’ Bit giving Holden rent money after he loses his shirt gambling at the lanes, again… https://www.youtube.com/watch?
Sharks n Strikes (-5) vs. Turkey Club
Despite being a stacked team, Sharks are having a just OK start to the season. But, Turkey Club is having an even worse go. I expect Ripcord to roll like his usual self, with the rest of the team clutching to his coattails. I also expect SnS pummel their livers with 10 Trulys an hour until they’re all blackout by the start of game 3. No worries, they still get the win over Club. Here’s Sparkles in his mom’s basement pregaming… https://www.youtube.com/watch?
Bowl Thugs vs. Shake n Bake (-3)
Despite my shitting on them, Bowl Thugs is off to a decent start. No thanks to Jail Bait. Kid talks a big game, but does nothing but flail on the lanes. I’ve seen better bowling in the Sunday morning kids league. They gotta hope Cleveland, BrownMichaelCox, and Hot Gravy roll well tonight, because Shake n Bake is off to a rough start and looking for a W. I’m going with Shake n Bake here. They’ve been looking like they’re picking up steam, Tango and Lala are hitting their stride… you, too, Squatch. Here’s Jail Bait coming into work after the tough loss… https://www.youtube.com/watch?
Off Constantly vs. Touch My Excitement (-3)
Here’s a game nobody will pay attention to. I sure as shit know neither of these ones will be beating out any fucking stop watch to get free beer. No smoke breaks for you guys, not that it would negatively impact your scores. O.C. looked a little better in the past weeks. They’re hungry for a win, and should be 0-5 hurts! Not that Touch is any better. They’re in just as much need of some Cialis as O.C. Gloomy days ahead for OC, Touch gets the win.
Ouch, sure hate to see this… https://www.youtube.com/watch?