Week 4 for the Kingshit Ding Dongers, and our first trip to the late shift for the entire division. Reminder, you can’t congregate behind the lanes while the early shift is bowling, if you arrive early go hang in the Mezzanine or get a table on the new side.
Speaking of the Mezzanine, come check out some PBA League action at the lanes! It’s a bummer we could not be a part of the fun this year, but all it does is save our energy for when we get to show the world how to do it right in 2021. Show up and let’s have some fun!
Remember that the staff does some cleaning before we get to move onto the lanes, so give them a few minutes, then we can hit the lanes and party down….late shift style!
Hey now! On to the matches:
Tales From the Pit (-3) v. Double Duece – This season we have seen two types of teams. Those that average over 600, and those that don’t. In this one, we have Lala and co averaging 619, and Roadhouse’s bozos at 592. Easy pickings for Division Average leader Tango and crew to get it done.
Not really….the top four for each team are remarkably close in average. It’ll be the bottom points that will decide this one, so I will take Walter and Clam Hands over Ramrod for the win. Speaking of Clam Hands, check out this guy at the pre-party:
All this time I thought we were friends, I couldn’t get an invite dude?? Wtf?
Baeside Rollers (-3) v. FUCOVID – Normally, if you have 2 teams averaging less than 600, it’s a battle no matter how you slice it. But the goofy fools on FUCOVID have the lowest team average….by a fair amount. While this is the type of match where a 150 may turn 2-3 points in a game, it’s hard to bet against Cheese and team, who may be struggling but are the defending champs. While Major Danks will do his best to let Dutch win a point, I still think they get it done.
Cheese is also a big golfer, and here he is telling his idol about meeting BrownMichaelCox and trying to become friends with him:
Horrible choice of beer, but looks like it has worked out well for them!
Jon McEnroll and Sticky Fingers are leaving Friday for a golf trip, so you know their heads will be elsewhere (as if they were ever really here?). McEnroll recently had a huge achievement on the golf course, and enjoyed telling his lady about it:
Humboldt Honey got the team awesome matching masks, but team masks will only get you so far, so while I expect FUCOVID to win the party, Baeside will win the bowling match.
Blue Dream (-1) v. Spare My Broken Hole – There is only one unbeaten team in our division, and it is Blue Dream! All Slow Roll had to do was kick her husband to the curb, draft a true ace in Nut Sauce, and they haven’t lost yet! They also sport the best team average, and hold a 40 pin edge over Holden and crew. It’s made Slow Roll take a trip down memory lane to the initial moments when she became such a badass:
Slow Roll drafted a good crew, with Phil Frames and Mountain Man both rolling well. These guys even had team scores in the 700s last week! Spare My Broken Hole will need another breakout from Brandy or Jailbait or Spladdam or Spare Me to keep pace. Of course it would also be good if Heartbreak Kid can have a big night also.
Personally, I am anxious to see Aunt Slow Roll dominate young nephew Jailbait and then talk shit about it over Zoom at the next family meeting. Jailbait is in the top left of the zoom.
Wow, that is not like any Zoom I have been a part of….yet.
Flight 2020 (-5) v. STD – Flight 2020 is pretty legit. LL Cool J was awesome last week. Hungus had a huge game. These guys will take care of business tonight.
I rolled against STD last week. Lobsterman was solid. Gutterboy was solid, but below his usual lofty standards (just kidding, the guy has no standards at all). The rest of the team is not doing great, and still searching for it on this lovely pattern. DC even rolled left handed to try the oil on the other side of the lane to no avail. And Hot Gravy is thinking of a name change to Hot Mess….poor guy has been promoted to Driver of the Farmer Express, aka the Struggle Bus. Everyone’s favorite bus driver:
I am excitied to see how the intra-squad battle among T’Mater Sauce, Lil’ Bit, and Burt the Bandit shapes up. They are all tightly bunched so far this season, and they would all love to break out to become a clear starter on the team. If it’s T’Mater Sauce, this is what we can expect:
Make Your Mark 300 Proof (-1) v. Balls of the Cave – I am predicting a mild upset in this one, and both teams will be at 2-2 after tonight. For sure this is the match where every point will be a grind. Getting a 147 may mean winning your point. Especially if Skinny Frankie drops another 87….which I don’t see happening. I have faith in our reigning Kingshit Ding Dong and T$ seems to be finding his groove of late.
Balls of the Cave lost 8-7 last week for their only loss thus far this year. Bobby Bluebettle has been a hero for this team, and has yet to lose a point all season. That may continue tonight, but the 300 Proof crew will take this one in a tight match.
Shooter’s pre-game speech to the squad:
Maybe I should make the spread a little larger…Here was Lil’ Pickle’s reaction:
Which I think is funny, because Rutherford Vaughn thought it made perfect sense. #thatswhytheycallitdope
Late nights were made for dancing: