Ding Dongers, we stay on the late shift this week, and hopefully we are better prepared. Looks like arriving at 8 is about right. Show up, get your stuff, then hit the mezzanine for a bit and then we get to roll. Please try to give the staff a chance to clean up prior to moving down onto the lanes. And then try to figure out how to roll on Earl Anthony 43. Last week Shooter McDabbin summed up the challenges well for this pattern:
And before we get too far, congrats to Hungus and the Portland Lumberjacks on their repeat title for the Elias Cup last night! Sure wasn’t the same as a Bayside environment, but awesome to see the home team get the win. Again.
Hungus posted my lines from last week about 730 pm Thursday, and frankly, I liked my jokes from last week, so I’m stealing a lot of material from last week’s lines that nobody read, but maybe changing the target of some of the jokes. If you don’t like it, please feel free to do some writeups.
Having a big week in the Farmer household. I got my AARP card in the mail, so am busy scouring the Bayside website for AARP discounts on shoe rentals and the like. And tomorrow I get a finger up my arse all in the name of men’s prostate health. Stay safe out there, BoPo.
OK, lets start re-using old jokes to predict new matches:
Tales From the Pit (-1) v. Baeside Rollers – I have rolled against both of these teams. And while Baeside may be the defending champs, I like Lala and Tango to take enough top points from Cheese and Mama D to get the win. And we shouldn’t forget about the sneaky solid rolling of Clam Hands. The secret to his rolling is found in the pre-party:
That’s one way to prepare! And for the record, here are Farmer, Dutch, and Sticky wondering why they weren’t invited:
Cheese spent a lot of time cultivating team spirit, using a slightly more gentle approach to meeting BrownMichaelCox:
Guess it worked, as they won last year. But tonight, they get to taste defeat. Which, if we are being honest, is exactly how Amstel Light tastes.
Double Duece (-3) v. FUCOVID – Roadhouse assembled a solid team, and they have started a tad slower than he imagined. But they have come on quite a bit lately. Looks like Sparkles, D$, and Bora Bora have all settled into the pattern, and tonight Ramrod and Pineapple hope to put up some numbers against cellar dwellers FUCOVID.
FUCOVID is allegedly captained by Dutch, who I have promoted to the drivers seat of the Struggle Bus. Everyone’s favorite bus driver:
Dutch will climb out of the 120’s tonight. But sorry buddy, 130’s won’t cut it either. Farmer is going to hope that Sticky and McEnroll, both fresh from a golf trip, have saved a little mojo for the lanes tonight. Although I’m not sure McEnroll is going to have fresh legs tonight, based on his late night storytelling from his trip:
Add to that a sober Farmer (see above men’s health announcement), a hammered Bowl Murray (is there any other version of Bowl Murray?!), and an up and down Humboldt Honey, I think Double Duece gets the win.
Blue Dream (-5) v. Balls of the Cave – Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Slow Roll was riding high until last week’s upset loss, and they plan to take out some revenge and send Balls to their third straight loss. Blue Dream have put up some 700’s this season, which almost seems impossible, but they can and will do it again tonight.
All Slow Roll had to do was kick her husband to the curb, draft a true ace in Nut Sauce, and now she has a title contender! This has made Slow Roll take a trip down memory lane to the initial moments when she became such a badass:
Slow Roll drafted a good crew, with Phil Frames and Mountain Man both rolling well also. I think they even take points from Bobby Bluebettle tonight. Shooter will have to fire up the crew to be ready for Blue Dream. Here is his pre-match pep talk:
Maybe I should make the spread a little larger…Here was Lil’ Pickle’s reaction:
Which I think is funny, because Rutherford Vaughn thought it made perfect sense. #thatswhytheycallitdope
Spare My Broken Hole (-3) v. Flight 2020 – If Hungus’s crew keeps this up, we will be renaming them Malaysia Flight 370. OK, that’s a little harsh…these guys will get 500’s all night tonight! But it won’t be enough against an energized Holden Green and team, fresh off taking out Blue Dream last week.
Spare My Broken Hole has 2 of the top 10 rollers in our division, led by #1 on the list (and # 32 in your hearts), Holden Green! Expect some big scores from him tonight, especially after he was able to spend the afternoon with his lady:
OK, doesn’t look like it worked out exactly as he had thought it would. But he still has the vocal stylings of Heartbreak Kid to lean on:
Nice cameo by Jailbait in there. Clearly, I have issues.
Make Your Mark 300 Proof (-3) v. STD – Hot Gravy told me they have turned a corner on STD. Gutterboy was super pumped from his win last week, and promptly crushed it on a work Zoom meeting, he was feeling it for sure (I’ll let you figure out which one is Gutterboy):
Make Your Mark eked out a close win last week, with Commdr Striker and Kingshit Ding Dong getting it done to help the squad. Skinny Frankie has been living well of late, and is finally able to share his tricks for how he dropped the pounds:
End of the day, Make Your Mark will get the 2nd and 3rd points in a lot of the games, and that will lead to another win. And then Skinny Frankie goes off the rails and starts his Friday in an interesting spot:
Thank your bowling mechanic…it ain’t an easy gig:
Love this tune: