587 missed BoPo King Shit cutoff by 67 pins. Here I am next Friday night right before closing spending another $15 at #callthefrontdesk.
Dumb and Dumber- So youre telling me theres a chance
Dumb and Dumber- So youre telling me theres a chanceBy FullMovieJacket
Good luck to LOS and SKOL tomorrow. As T$ would say good luck to everybody. To which I say, sorry Fake Dan Bailey (Viking), Fake Dan Bailey’s lady (Viqueen), Mrs. Brady, Gunz, and Frankie love ya, but THUUUUUUUUURSDDDAYY!!!! As the Twin Towers would say, “Prepare to be crushed!” Sorry it’s nothing personal, Doc just a Thursday guy at heart.
Going to be one hell of a match. Now to handicap the match LOS – 3 over SKOL:Defending champs SKOL looking to win back to titles. 2020 league got shut down due to Blovid. When it reconvened not everyone was in. TDYOB wasn’t which is probably why they all have new tattoos depicting their BoPo XIII title. Being a Bucs fan I know a thing or two about being a Champion. Glad my hometown squad gave Tom Brady a chance to do it the right way. Sorry for the tangent. SKOL social distance celebrated the hell out of the title. A close knit team of friends that care about each other. Every single member got a tattoo to commerate when they won the title. That’s BoPo as hell. Automatic didn’t make it back for the season and they brought in ringer supereme to join his wife in Frankie Abralon. Both are an inspiration when it comes to hard work and they bring a lot to the league. Frankie also brings about 500 balls to the lanes, a ball rep and ball coach, #letsgetradical and then he absolute murders the left side of the lane. The guy is an absolute ace. Puts in the work takes the game seriously. Gunz is basically his twin brother, but on the right side of the lane. The guy can make any shot. He is a silent assassin on the lanes, and he can transition and find a line as well as anyone in the league. Viking won’t kick your dog, but he will kick the hell out of the ball return. This poor bastard is a Vikings fan, if he treats TVs like ball returns he goes through 6-10 TVs a year. Most recent when Dan Bailey helped my team win a Super Bowl essentially. Viqueen is a big game roller. She’s a proven winner, steps up in big moments, and frankly is someone I admire and look to when it comes to the way she thinks, and how she approaches her life. Mrs. Brady is still in love eventhough Tom left her for the Bucs. Brutal. Not only did he curb her Pats, they also got a divorce. Name change episode, word on street is Mrs. Brady returns to BoPo XV as Mrs. Abralon or Mrs. Newton to be determined. She is also an absolute ace on the lanes, that works hard at the game, knows the game and can handle the bright lights of a COVID safe BoPo finals. That leaves my spirit animal T$. This cat got into the league via the smack board. Created an avatar. Picture of him flexing his bicep muscle but all you saw was the arm. Sorry folks I’m a meathead for life, that was love at first sight for Doc. Then I read the post this is as close to a direct quote as it gets, “I used to be one of the best yourh bowlers of all time. Looking for a team.” This was before the real big ringer explosion and when the board was hot. I probably laid some snarky smack on that. He landed on Rufio’s team and rolled a 280 on us. This when we were all rolling 150s, which I still do by the way. Zero shame in Doc’s game. As I got to know T$ we went to similar schools, have similar tastes in music and you won’t meet a finer guy around. Just a real great addition to the league for a long time on and off the lanes. A real Renaissance person. And this year my spirit animal took it to another level. As they have gone on this title defense run. By the way no one has taken them to 3 games in playoffs. We beat OC in 2 in 2012 quarters I went 223 game 2 and we ruined their lives. Those moron twins had to join my old squad this year because of it. Still don’t belive they are twins by the way. Sorry got off track again. So T$ has been hitting the smack hard. Holding the door for people. Wishing everyone good luck. Some of it has appeared to be a tad backhanded. Went and blew up the Commish day after he got shit out playoffs. “Good luck in doubles Bro!” Man after my own heart. Honestly I’m gonna get a signed poster of T$, dude loves Belle and Sebastian like myself, loves to smack talk Hungus, which I too love, and has a smooth ass roll. This is a loaded team. They are on fire. They are hellbent on defending said title, getting a second tattoo which reads “Greatest Pandemic Bowling Team of All-Time Bowl Portland Champs 2020, 2021 SKOL good luck in doubles” yeah Viking told me that in the Mezzaine last night when he came up to brag about making the finals again. We had some laughs. He left. Frankie no shit sat down in his seat and started bragging about the same thing. Had a good conversation I was like I got the hell out of here before the next SKOL teammates is like “I gotta tell you Thunder.” So I go downstairs and post up on rail and swear on anything here comes Tommy Gunz “I gotta tell you Thunder……”. Oh my God!!!!!!
no one cares
no one caresBy hi im haash
Good luck guys. Would not be sad to see you repeat. Great team. Great group, but you know Doc is a THURSDAY guy, and not to mention rooftop sessions homie the Notorious Double Cheese 🧀 is running 2008 first season Bowl Portland original team LOS. So while I’m not rooting against ya SKOL my heart lies with LOS. I think I picked them to win finals over BEER but who really knows. Precious is the only remaining original member. And when I said Hungus and Jerk, admitting could be forgetting someone, are the only two Yankee Lane rollers competing with the big dogs. Wrong. Big ommision, Precious has never gotten the credit for being a homegrown BoPo ace. Dude put in work. When I played him 2010 he was like rolling 150 and 160 which back then made you King Shit, but he is one of the most improved bowlers in the history of Bowl Portland and has become an absolute ace. He is the hammer in the four hole. Always plays to win. Has put in the work and every time LOS needs a big strike and Precious is lining up I start to feel sorrow for the pins. Then he goes into it and right when it hits the lane you know it’s a strike and those pins are going to get hit hard AF. Guy is a winner and I love watching him bowl. Also sporting new ink. It’s so much fun watching from the Mezz because you see the shape of the ball as it hits the lanes picks up speed and turns. Watching LOS from up top last night they all play different lines and take different routes to the pocket with similar 983 results team low 222. And if I am being honest they had 1000 in their grasps but Putt Putt let missed 300 pursuit throw him off for a bit. Amazing display of bowling. If Mezz open tomorrow night watch Precious throw his first ball. Rips it across the lanes and shreds the rack.
LOS isn’t shy, they play to win. Have a fun regular season, absolutely stomp a mudhole in Thursday’s ass, play everyone, get them playoff eligible. And when Playoffs roll around they play to win. Garlic doesn’t know this, but his back seized on him because at the last team dinner they had some fun. Garlic took a “nap” then they hit him across the back with a baseball bat. It was for the team. Person lost Rosham did the bat work. Hasn’t been confirmed who it was, but word on the street sounds like it was Mama D. Another rumor swirling is Garlic knew he was going to get Shithawked so he went full Neymar took a dive on the lanes went off in stretcher, sold it so he could say I didn’t get shithawked if I didn’t blow my back out we get that 1000. Sorry Garlic bummer man get better soon, but get your ring finger sized homie because you could have a title coming tonight. Play or not, the team wins every person on that team wins. No team wins without contributions from the entire team. Great addition to BoPo and LOS. Garlic helped me get through the early part of the pandemic. Checking in on me, checking on my mental health. A great person who will get that bowling game back together on BARE next year and take a run at Trolls in finals. That’s if he gets cut which is certainly on the table when you go full Vlade Divac on lanes. Man I wish I was there for that. I would have been dying laughing and heckling hell out of him. I was getting text updates and they were making my day. Then the Commish dumped on my parade, “Take it down a notch Doc the guy just left in an ambulance and may not make it.” Get well homie, I love you, and dude just stop I’m never going to watch “The Wire” bro. Strike Dancer is so freaking awesome. She took Cheese down like 500 notches. This guy used to have problems with the ball return, “perv road” name change episode “party row”, and the front desk. There was a bit when I said someone was running hot, I said they were “pulling a cheese” so SD thank you. They aren’t here without Strike Dancer. She actually just beat me head to head today. Two handed bowler getting coached by her fiancé nonstop. It’s exhausting then he started coaching me and her at same time. I was like this sucks huh. She’s like “dude I live with him. When I’m dicing an onion he is like ‘okay babe you want a little less tension in the forearm, a little different angle, and let it roll off your hand.” Strike Dancer my wife knows your pain but it was about frisbee not bowling. Munson coached the Bork ladies and they all hated him for it. SD has also decided to sit it out and let them roll four strong. That leaves them in order Putt Putt, Mama D, Double Cheese, and Precious. They beat Shake and Bake in 3 they went 832, 810, and an all-time league high 983. It was utterly insane. Putt Putt (Mr. Rogers) went like 236 Mama 222 Cheese 269 full Gronk, and Precious like 256. I was going to leave because after 3 to 4 frames they had Shake and Bake beat. Shake came out a little slow and basically everyone on LOS was XXXX and then I was like wow need to hang in see our first 1000. No disrespect it should have been. Truly amazing rolling. Inside info they did this on lanes 3/4. Finals going to be lanes 3/4. As someone who went 236 on lane 3 today those are some hot lanes. I picked this team to win because they have the 4 strongest 4-some in league. Putt Putt #mrrogers is an absolute assassin. He has one of the smoothest rolls in the league, and he’s one of the best and nicest guys in the league. Real genuine good human being. As the ringer movement took full bore Putt Putt was the biggest Free Agent signing in the midst of it all. Everytime he bowls in a big game the floor is 235. Mama D is a freaking legend! An absolute ace. Bowling savant. She is one step ahead of you and the lanes. Actually the biggest free agent signings Mama D and Putt Putt. Cheese is like Nuber I love you bro. Sorry just took one of your best bowlers no offense. One of the coldest moves in history of the league. Which I love. My squad traded a dude this year. He declined went and failed his physical on purpose and then signed elsewhere. As I have always said all is fair in love and war. That move has paid off in Bitcoin, whatever the hell that is. Mama has one of the smoothest rolls in league. Down and in right when it leaves her hand destination pocket. Then Cheese what can I say I love this dude, and he is a killer on the lanes. Dude can bowl. Another self made BoPo guy who showed up in cleats in 2012, he bought that whole it’s a sport thing, cost his team right off the bat. Which lead to my squad making our only semis. Like I said love you bro! Then he put in the work and oh my did he ever! Guy probably $200K deep at the lanes and it led to two bricks this year in the shortest period of time in history of Bayside Bowl circa 2011! They have 4 aces. Already told you what Precious does. SKOL is no pushover but in end I think LOS has more fire power but SKOL will not go down in 2. I hope. I’m a 3 game guy. Love the drama. Last time a team didn’t go down in 2 to LOS they rolled a 983 on them, so be careful what you wish for.
Props to the Bayside Bowl, their staff, and the BoPo community for doing this the right way and keeping everyone safe. Wearing masks. When folks got sick they were transparent and let everyone know. Quarantined if they needed to. It was a really impressive showing and for us that sat it out we missed it. Peanut Gutter, Fabio, Two Dogs, Munson list goes on we talked about it all the time. You all pulled off a really fun and cool thing in really trying times when folks needed an outlet. Respect. Let’s do it right one more time tonight. Keep those masks up, crown a new champ, have some fun, tip the staff well, and get loose. #BoPoXIV#BowlingBall