Alright I’m not out of gas yet! Lots of things to cover this week so let’s jump into it.
First a quick acknowledgement, Dick Liquor and Dick’s Picks may have been the original repeat Draft name. RIP Dick. There were a few other factual errors last week. As I mentioned, there’s no editing, however feel free to point out the errors in the comments and I will address them the following week. Corrections on Seth Myers Late Night is one of my favorite bits on television, so have at it jackals.
All-Star Game!
This year the all-star game will be held on Thursday October 9th and we’re guaranteed to see a lot of new faces given the format change. Each conference gets 20 players. The top 5 men and women in average from each conference are in. Then it gets interesting. The next 10 players are based on pins above your average on the draft sheet, so it’s wide open. Thanks to Flatline for tracking this stat on BoPo Stats.
Power 8
1 – Must Bowl Faster (3-0)
2 – Jucifer (3-0)
3 – Humboldt Honey (3-0)
4 – Prestige Woldwide (3-0)
5 – Dirty Bowling (3-0)
6 – Iron Lotus (2-1)
7 – BBC (3-0)
8 – Karl & The Gang (2-0)
The Lines
last week’s record: 10-3
Early Games
Prestige Woldwide (3-0) -1 vs Bass Pro Shots (0-2): After back to back Draft League titles and this year’s summer league title, Bass was due for at least a little bad luck. His team is 0-2 with 14.5 points, an almost impossible statistical anomaly. Now after a bye they come back to take on the undefeated division leaders. Oof. Foster Kid led the way for PW last week with a nice 246-223 start, leading to this heartwarming (though suspiciously staged looking) moment of Flatline and Hot Mess making him an official team member
Karl & The Gang (2-0) -5 vs Time Out (0-3): The Gang is groovin, with 13-2 and 12-3 wins to start things off. Emiliooooo had a 220 (and another in CBL Wednesday), and your mom’s favorite bowler (unless she likes BBC) Nuber brought the closing energy. Karl Fungus hopefully won’t be fighting the internet in this one like last week. Time Out got decent scores from Mango and Lone Starr but couldn’t break in to the win column. This week looks like it won’t be any easier.
Here’s Nuber taking that shirt just one button lower and the reaction from Cougar Corner
Magic’s Gathering (2-1) -5 vs Fisher Price (1-2): A shorthanded Gathering got themselves in a big hole last week and couldn’t quite fight back, handing me one of my few wrong picks. Thanks, bro. This week they take on Fisher’s Casco All-Stars, and since Magic is basically the fun uncle of Casco this will be like a family reunion. He won’t let his nieces and nephews beat him.
Here’s Magic deep into telling all these guys about all his Casco championships
Mama D (2-1) -5 vs Beans & Franks (1-2): I have no official data, but I believe most people say Franks & Beans. So why did Ding Dog switch it up? One of life’s little mysteries. Mama D didn’t even bother showing up last week and let her team win 12-3 without her. Made me think of this 2Pac line:
I don’t even know why I’m on this track
Y’all [bowlers] ain’t even on my level
I’ma let my lil’ homies ride
On you bitch-made ass Bad Boy bitches, feel it!
Here’s Mama D’s team walking in this week
Grateful Deadwoods (2-1) -3 vs Disco Turkeys (1-2): RIP Walter’s Dick Pipe, Diesel’s squad has a new name. He managed to make Dick Du Jour super uncomfortable by forcing him to wear tie dye! Space Farmer’s gonna love the shirts though, and this one promises to be one of the better parties on the lanes. LL Cool J still thinks the Turkeys are in it to win, and got them real close to beating BBC. Here he is unsuccessfully trying to psych out a stoic Walter before the game
Dirty Bowling (3-0) -3 vs BBC (3-0): A couple of undefeated squads get after it early. I bet against Roadhouse last week, always a questionable decision. Roadhouse keeps winning with his three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it’s absolutely necessary. And three, be nice. Thanks for keeping it outside the bar. BBC pulled off the narrow win last week to stay undefeated, even with Slick Rick running the show. Rookie of the Year candidate Giojuana had some solid 150s to keep them in the game til leading bowler Greggo finished the job in game 3. I think the streak ends with this one.
Here’s Roadhouse selecting his Draft Team
6:30 Games
Ball-Barians (1-2) -3 vs Roll Clarity (1-1): Not sure how BBs are 1-2, given they have the second best average in the league. Crazy Train and Jr. Hoss are shredding racks. Roll Clarity won a game last week when they were the only match on the East side. This time they will be one of two matches on the West side next to some company party. G Force roared back to life this week, Bayou Steve making a name for himself and GFT posted a 200. These guys are scrappy, but it’s all Ball-Barians nowadays.
Humboldt Honey (3-0) -3 vs What’s Yo Name? (1-2): In one of the more shocking offseason transactions, Jamaican Jerk made the jump to his long time nemesis BEER. Now he’s getting one last run at glory with General Tso. Now Tso is topping the What’s Hot list this week after leading his team to victory last week and a couple of team 700s. I may have put a little extra pressure on Nessquick with the ‘not fucking around’ mantle as they lost a 7-8 nailbiter. At least they got a team cheer out of it! This week looks like another tough climb against her old Draft teammate Jerk and Co.
Here’s one last delicious reminder of the Jerk/Tso partnership feat. Mokiki on synth
Too soon?
Late Games
Must Bowl Faster (3-0) – 9 vs Turn & Burn (0-3): Oh boy, on paper this is the biggest mismatch of the week. MBF is just out of control right now. Glossy is sitting third in average, and the dreamy Phil Frames is leading everyone. Turn & Burn played without Deputy last week, and hope to get the whole squad together this week to play giant killers, but I’m taking the favorites regardless.
Here’s Turn & Burn’s season so far
Putt’s Deli (1-2) -3 vs CakeBalls8 (1-2): The Deli has two folks on the Who’s Not list, and Cakeballs has a Who’s Hot, but I’m not following the trend. I’m curious when exactly ‘trend or trending’ stopped being a perjorative. I’m GenX so anything trendy was shit. I digress. This mouth watering matchup will leave one team fat and happy and one hungry and tired. This whole writeup is going nowhere. Just eat this and let me know who wins.
A moment on the lanes, forever on the brains.
Jucifer (3-0) -3 vs Moose Knuckle (1-2): Doc’s squad will be the latest sacrifice on the temple of Jucifer. For reference, Jucifer’s Ripcord is on the hotlist for averaging 189, which would be good for 12th in the league. C’mon, man. Get these guys some manhattans fast or no one is slowing them down.
Here’s lead Jucifer Tommy Gunz already looking ahead to his Oct. 28 team and giving his team some rules
Only three more to go….You got this Karl! C’mon Karl!
Vintage Vibes (1-2) -1 vs Under Construction (1-2): There are two Draft teams this season with ‘Vibes’ in their name. That’s gotta be good right? I mean, I guess bad vibes is a thing but one of the teams comes right out and says ‘good vibes’ in their name, and ‘vinatge vibes’ feels pretty positive. I’d sure rather hear something has vintage vibes than something is ‘giving vintage’. Bosco and crew will try giving Vintage a loss, but I think these newcomers lose to the old heads.
Here’s Vintage and Gutterboi trying to get the Mona Laudley’s attention on the lanes, after a brief visit to my closet upstairs.
Iron Lotus (2-1) -7 vs Perfect 10’s (0-3): Iron Lotus stopped the bullet, down 5-0, tap tapped and threw it back for a 9-6 win. Now they battle the winless 10s looking to get a win streak going. Herb’n is talking about himself in the 3rd person more and more these days. C’mon Kelso, get this dude a win! I think Iron Lotus takes care of business again, sorta like this dude.
Lucky Strikes (1-2) -1 vs High 5s Good Vibes (2-1): Here’s my upset pick of the week. Lucky Strikes broke through for a win this week and I feel like they may have some momentum. House Shoes 221 was the highlight but solid scores throughout. MMM Waffles crew also won, and the glittery tramp stamps are amazing, drawing the eye toward the ass of each of her bowlers. Between her drat night gear, her team energy and the excellent, flashy uniforms she’d be leading the Captain of the Year contest if there was one for Draft. Hell, maybe there is now. Dirty Lew finally broke out, and Lucky Larry got another 220. All the signs point toward a win, but the last time tuck with a bad bet it worked.
Have a great week, see you on the lanes, and here’s hoping the wireless works next week!