Some weeks get away from you, kind of how the writeups died in the first place. This was one of those weeks, but rather than nothing I’ll just spray out a short amount of nonsense to keep the routine going and hope for more time as the season progresses.

Both days brought it this week. Thursday was psyched to get out there at all after the entire league had the week off. Party Mix actually just made their season debut. We also finally got the B banner up! Congrats Lion’s Den! (Saucy and Oddballs, your additional numbers for your banners will arrive someday, pinky swear). We also saw the BoPo debut of Sweeter than Yoohoo, and they only managed to field three bowlers. Feel the enthusiasm!

Thursday B Players of the Week:

Otis, Lion’s Den, The Leg, Party Mix: Well, Otis was otherworldly. Playing in the party pit, just below his team’s newly unveiled banner, he was lights out with a 24-255, then he just grabbed his stuff and left early. Based on the complete lack of reaction or joy he showed after every strike, I think he expected this. Look out B, these guys are looking for a repeat before their inevitable return to A. The Leg had the misfortune of playing against him, so no matter what she did it would get overshadowed. That said she made her B debut leading B in average and posted a 210. Nice start!

Thursday A Players of the Week:

Doc Moose, RWB & Just Pickle, RWB: Awwwwwwwwwww! Couple skate! Doc rolled himself a couple 200s and led the night in average. Just Pickle was the picture of consistency, 177-175-173. RWB cruised to another monster win and now has 28 out fo a possible 30 points.

Tuesday B Players of the Week:

Pinchi Fried Rice, Cheesed to Meet You & Vanna, Bowling Stones: Onggi is no more, they are now Cheesed to Meet You, but they are still going to win a lot. Pinchi led the way for his team this week with a strong 219-180 in a 10-5 win over the Big Daddies. Vanna is one of the large number of BowlPortlanders that I don’t even know. We’ve come a long way in 18 years. All I know is she rolled a very strong 509 series in a 14-1 thrashing of MIG leaving the Stones at the top of the B standings.

Twisted Tea, Oddballs & Nut Sauce, Saucy Posse: Scotty2Hotty had the high score of the week at 268 and was on pace for this award until I benched him for Thunder. That left the door open for Twisted Tea with the top average of the week on a 246-204 night. The success of the Oddballs will be put to the test this week as we now stock Twisted Tea and Cerrano pledged to buy all of them. LFG! Nut Sauce grabbed the ladies’ honer this week, with a ho hum 208-202. Those scores were the exact same, in the exact same games, as teammate Walter. The more you know!

Anyway, hoping for more time next week. Remember now is no time for reasonable Americans to not be drinking. See you on the lanes!

I will be posting all updates on this site, trying to eliminate any need for using Facebook to follow BoPo. Flatline still killing it running that BoPo stats page so that’s still a go-to for hard numbers. This will be the place for rumors, chatter, heckling, pumping tires, notifyiing about tournaments, Bowling Ball teases, and general old school BoPoness.

So, week 1. Always a little slow to start, especially with Dry January and the surgeon general pooping on our good time. Thursday got the honors of launching us this season, and the above factors combined with the league-wide bye on the second Thursday gave it a bit of an exhibition game feel. (Technically the entire regular season is basically an exhibition match since everyone makes playoffs, but I digress). The biggest takeaway was pace – this was like Casco Bay out there, with four early matches ending by 8:00PM! Holy shit, I know my recollections are usually wrong but I’m declaring that the fastest round in BoPo history.

Thursday B Players of the Week:

Snapshot, BUI and Tilt-A Whirl, Lesbowlians: Alright Snapshot, you’re not getting any more of these, beating up on B, but nice start. Tilt led the high flying Lesbowlians to a dominant 10-5 win

Thursday A Players of the Week:

Yakobiford and DemonBoi, Gorditos: Soccer Dad led everyone in Average and the Bros were great, but Yak made a hell of a first impression on BoPo, splitting in the 10th of game 1 and still getting a league high 261. Either inspired by it or determined not to have to listen to him brag all week DemonBoi led all A women in average. Quite the debut for Mitchelada’s expansion Gorditos.

Tuesday was, to be generous, a little less brisk. One early match gets a pass as they had to move from East to West and back, but even with that they finished ahead of one match. Basically all the early matches took until 8:20-8:35. Oof, Joe sent his daily manager report out at 1:48AM. Tuesday had way more strikes too, and I didn’t actually see any team breaks, so not sure what’s happening. Maybe its the absolutely asinine number of bowling balls. Jesus christ folks, I hope that mellows a little as people get used to the pattern. Maybe it’s extra ‘lane courtesy’? Regardless, play faster when you’re early please! Tuesday also did not rage, again, thanks Dry January. At least eat some gummies next week. Herb’n Legend was forced to fake drink a corona to try to execute a pre-shot ritual. Guess what, it didn’t work, he split. While on the topic of drugs, someone test Ricky the Rayzr, what the hell pal?

Tuesday B Players of the Week: Triple G, Bowling Stones, and Tricki, Kids are Alright – Triple G, yeah, to be expected. He’s moonlighting in B but this guy is gonna crush all season. Tricki on the other hand came out of nowhere and her 171 average led the Kids to a huge upset win over EatMe in their Tuesday debut.

Tuesday A Players of the Week: Ricky the Rayzr, Hooligans, TIE Redbush, SOD/Griff, Bayside Tigers: I’ll have what Rick’s having. 254 average over three. Damn. Of course if he’d rolled 7 pins higher in game 1 then Hooligans could have had the high team score of the week instead of BEER, can’t win em all. Redbush and Griff both tied for high average of the week at 182.5. Griff got a win, so was tempted to give the ward to her alone, but you can’t blame Redbush for Diesel and LL Cool J sucking.

I’ll write more throughout the week, and again I’m going to put all league info, including doubles stuff, on the website. I hate social media as much as the next GenXer. Let’s get the smack board hopping again! Everyone thicken those skins – we kid because we love!

11/19	Losers’ Bracket
	5:30
	Lanes	Matchup	Format
Gm1	1&2	PB15 vs PB16	One baker Game
Gm2	3&4	Jelly15 vs Jelly16	One baker Game
	6:00
Gm3	1&2	Jelly14 vs Winner Gm2	One baker Game
Gm4	3&4	PB14 vs Winner Gm1	One baker Game
	6:30
Gm5	1&2	PB13 vs Winner Gm4	One baker Game
Gm6	3&4	Jelly13 vs Winner Gm3	One baker Game
	7:00
Gm7	1&2	Jelly12 vs Winner Gm6	One baker Game
Gm8	3&4	PB12 vs Winner Gm5	One baker Game
	8:00
Gm9	1&2	Jelly9 vs Winner Gm8	Best of 3 Baker
Gm10	3&4	PB10 vs Jelly11	Best of 3 Baker
Gm11	5&6	PB9 vs Winner Gm7	Best of 3 Baker
Gm12	7&8	Jelly 10 vs PB11	Best of 3 Baker
	8:45
Gm13	1&2	WinnerGm11 vs Winner Gm12	Best of 3 Baker
Gm14	5&6	Winner Gm9 vs Winner Gm10	Best of 3 Baker
	9:30
	3&4	Finals	Best of 3 Baker

11/19	Championship Bracket
	5:30
	Lanes	Matchup
Gm1	5&6	Jelly 1 vs PB 8
Gm2	7&8	PB 4 vs Jelly 5
Gm3	9&10	Jelly 2 vs PB 7
Gm4	11&12	PB 3 vs Jelly 6
Gm5	13&14	Jelly 3 vs PB 6
Gm6	15&16	PB 2 vs Jelly 7
Gm7	17&18	PB 1 vs Jelly 8
Gm8	19&20	Jelly 4 vs PB 5
	8:00
Gm9	11&12	Winner Gm1 vs Winner Gm2
Gm10	13&14	Winner Gm3 vs Winner Gm4
Gm11	15&16	Winner Gm7 vs Winner Gm8
Gm12	17&18	Winner Gm5 vs Winner Gm6
11/26 Semifinals
	5:30
	13&14	Winner Gm9 vs Winner Gm12
	17&18	Winner Gm10 vs Winner Gm11
	8:00
	15&16	Finals

For those asking, top 8 from each division qualify. In case of a tie between 2 teams, head to head is the first tiebreaker. If the teams haven’t played, or there are more than two teams tied, the tiebreaker is total points. If points are also tied, last tiebreaker is team average.

Bottom 8 from each division will be the loser’s bracket tournament, all on 11/19, all Baker style.

As usual, the podcast (when released) is not a reliable source for info. The BoProAm teams I announced on there are incorrect.

We have two squads, 6:00 and 7:15 (as always start times are very loose) Two pools of four in each squad for round robin baker matches. Top two in each pool advance.

6:00 Pool A

Dom Barret – Ralphie, Sully, Sass Ball, Lil Squirt

EJ Tackett – Niner, Mrs. Brady, LED Justin, 8 Bit

Marshall Kent – Phil Frames, Keebler Elf, Big Strong Polish Girl, NessQuick

Richie Teece – Frankie Abralon, Danny Diesel, Slow Roll, Spare Me

6:00 Pool B

Sean Rash (defending champs) – DDJ, KDD, Mr Vintage, Kiddo

Chris Via – Flatline, Megalodon, El Mango, Veedubayou

Tom Smallwood – Nut Sauce, Beer Hunter, Sparkles, Humboldt Honey

Andrew Andersen – Master Splinter, Glossy, Dot Matrix, Ghostface Tequila

7:15 Pool C

El Niño – Prive Alive, Double Cheese, Wadsworth, GBoy’s Mom

Kris Prather – Linus, Tenderoni, Mama D, Major Asshole

Graham Fach – Buck Ripcord, MacMillion, Nugget, Just Pickle

Kevin McCune – Crazy Train, Stuffed Crust, Cupcake, Ice Ice Mary

7:15 Pool D

Kyle Troup – Gator, Snapshot, Boom Hammer, Kelly Kabowlski

Anthony Simonsen – Jamaican Jerk, Space Farmer, Bass2Mouth, Bowl Murray

AJ Johnson – Gutterboy, Hot Gravy, Titty Titty Bang Bang, Bobby Bluebeetle

Boog Krol – Karl Hungus, Captain Spare-O, Marbles, Nuber

Playoffs around 830, top two from each pool. Buffet at 5. Ambulance around 10:15, probably

Tommy Gunz	Nut Sauce	Master Splinter	Linus	Karl Hungus	Roadhouse
Dirty Lew	Tilt a Whirl	David Foster	Niner	Jamaican Jerk	Buck Ripcord
Rubbys	Jon McEnroll	Jailbait	Bora Bora	Walter	Lil Lane Master
Emiliooo	Gutterslut	Lil Pickle	Cspan	Fisher Price	Duke Thunderwood
DC	King Lettuce	Triple G	Mokiki	Two Koops	Samsquanch
Pineapple	Mrs Brady	Just D Tip	Caspah	Grouch	Orloff Mami
Glossy Mexican	Flatline	Boom Hammer	Magic	Capt Spare O	Megalodon
Crackerjack	Ricky the Razor	General Tso	Twisted Tea	Gutterboy	Spare Me
Jr Hoss	Mimi	Veedubbayou	Gator	Nurple	Fast Eddie
Beep Boop	MacMillion	Yakobiford	Seatown	Troll Baby	Hangman
jOhio	Splat	Animal	Darth Quaider	Nora Spect	Mountain Man
Mean Mug	Tenderoni	Franky Strikes	MMMWaffles	Youngish Man	Only Fans
Nugget	Danny Diesel	Lobsterman	Trash Island	Space Farmer	Mr. Vintage
Sweet Hot Gravy	Cuzzin It	Crazy Train	El Nino	Mitch Cumstein	Keebler Elf
India Pale Ass	Brooklyn	Ocho Pizzo	Burt the Bandit	Bowl Murray	Shooter McGill
Jukebox	Big Boi	Garlic Jones	Griff	Red	Ice Ice Mary
Fish	Prancer	Susie Striker	La Femme	Ghost face Tequila	8 Bit
Braggin Rights	Hollywood	Bird Bones	Island Boy	VW Mothman	Lefty
Doc Moose	Mitchelada	Major Asshole	Beer Hunter	Gatch	Danger Zac
Spare Parts	Demonboi	Squatch	LL Cool J	All Day Lemay	Sonny D
Tommy Torpedo	X-Peej	Snapshot	Squeak	Dick Du Jour	Iceberg
The Leg	Kelso	Lil Bit	Malcolm	Hard Knox	Ripcord 2.0
Juicy Clitoure	Dolla bet	Yodin Kirk	Casual Hundo	Starfox	Circle K
Wadsworth	House Shoes	Big Strong Polish Girl	Butter Basted Filet	Bullet	2 Bit
Kelly Kabowlski	Das Ducken	Big Party	Humboldt Honey	Ness Quick	Cupcake
Stuffed Crust	Frankie Abralon	King Ding Dong	HBK	Sparkles	Putt Putt
El Mango	Couch	Bean	Red Bush	G Force	Eggroll
Bobby Bluebeetle	Princess Pinnacle	Ruby/Russian	Juice	G Unit	Titty Bang Bang
Honest Andy	Bowlin Nolan	Swanny	Potassium	Lil Kimchi	Lonestarr
50 Cal	Doktor Me	Scrapper Jon	Shooter McDabbin	La Flama Blanca	Leigh Pipe
Slow Roll
Herb’n Legend
Marbles
Meatball
Nu-Tron
Smokey

8/20
Magic		Big Party
Hungus		Beer Hunter
Slow Roll		Danny Diesel
Cupcake		BBB
Humboldt Honey		Space Farmer
Danger Zac		Capt. Spare-O
Boomhammer		Mitchelada
Nut Sauce		Nessquick
8/27
Magic		Humboldt Honey
BBB		Slow Roll
Danger Zac		Hungus
Capt. Spare-O		Nessquick
Beer Hunter		Nut Sauce
Boomhammer		Space Farmer
Mitchelada		Big Party
Danny Diesel	BYE	Cupcake	BYE
9/3
Hungus		Slow Roll
Big Party		Nessquick
Capt. Spare-O		Nut Sauce
Boomhammer		Beer Hunter
Cupcake		Space Farmer
BBB		Magic
Danny Diesel		Mitchelada
Humboldt Honey		Danger Zac
9/10
Slow Roll		Big Party
Magic		Capt. Spare-O
Nessquick		Danny Diesel
Nut Sauce		Mitchelada
Space Farmer		Hungus
Danger Zac		Beer Hunter
Cupcake		Humboldt Honey
Boomhammer	BYE	BBB	BYE
9/17
No Games – PBA
9/24
Mitchelada		Magic
Capt. Spare-O		Boomhammer
Beer Hunter		Cupcake
Big Party		Nut Sauce
BBB		Danger Zac
Nessquick		Slow Roll
Space Farmer		Danny Diesel
Hungus		Humboldt Honey
10/1
BBB		Humboldt Honey
Mitchelada		Hungus
Big Party		Cupcake
Beer Hunter		Danny Diesel
Nessquick		Danger Zac
Capt. Spare-O		Space Farmer
Slow Roll		Boomhammer
Nut Sauce		Magic
10/8
Beer Hunter		Space Farmer
Danny Diesel		Humboldt Honey
BBB		Hungus
Big Party		Boomhammer
Capt. Spare-O		Cupcake
Nessquick		Magic
Mitchelada		Danger Zac
Slow Roll		Nut Sauce
10/15
Humboldt Honey		Beer Hunter
Cupcake		Mitchelada
Space Farmer		BBB
Nut Sauce		Danny Diesel
Boomhammer		Nessquick
Hungus		Capt. Spare-O
Danger Zac		Big Party
Magic		Slow Roll
10/22
Hungus		Cupcake
Space Farmer		Danger Zac
Big Party		Danny Diesel
Humboldt Honey		Boomhammer
Nut Sauce		BBB
Slow Roll		Capt. Spare-O
Magic	BYE	Beer Hunter	BYE
Nessquick	BYE	Mitchelada	BYE
10/29
Beer Hunter		BBB
Cupcake		Nessquick
Boomhammer		Nut Sauce
Space Farmer		Mitchelada
Danger Zac		Slow Roll
Danny Diesel		Magic
Hungus		Big Party
Humboldt Honey	BYE	Capt. Spare-O	BYE
11/5
Capt. Spare-O		Beer Hunter
Slow Roll		Cupcake
Danny Diesel		BBB
Nessquick		Hungus
Magic		Boomhammer
Mitchelada		Humboldt Honey
Nut Sauce	BYE	Danger Zac	BYE
Big Party	BYE	Space Farmer	BYE
11/12
Cupcake		Nut Sauce
Danny Diesel		Boomhammer
BBB		Capt. Spare-O
Humboldt Honey		Big Party
Beer Hunter		Mitchelada
Danger Zac		Magic
Space Farmer		AAA
Hungus	BYE	Slow Roll	BYE