Register soon to secure a spot, we are running out of space. Draft is August 13, season starts August 20

We breakdown the playoffs after week 1…how’d we do?

We made it! The next two weeks are the best, all BoPo mixing and partying together, with a little bowling thrown in. Remember that win or lose the whole point is coming to the Bowling Ball on 4/13 and partying with your community. Any team that gets the majority of the players to the Bowling Ball has had a successful season.

A couple quick notes:

Teams need to bowl all 6 of their playoff eligible lineup (or taxi squad player if a team doesn’t have 6 playoff eligible players available) within the first two games. Game three lineup is up to the team.

We will play the playoffs even during a blizzard

DBAD is even more important in the playoffs. Stakes are a tiny but higher, but we’re still all in BoPo, killing time til the Bowling Ball

Tuesday A and B March 26, 2024:

Well spring had sprung and then the ghost of Maine winter past was like go on fuck yourself! Perfect Old School Bowl Portland weather to wrap the regular season on one of the toughest patterns in history of Bowl Portland, circa 2008. Buck leading league with a 196.8 tells ya all you need to need. Ghosts of BoPo past tell of one pattern that may have been tougher with Stevie Strikes leading league with something like a 183 average before he got his new chicklets, perfect example of leading league in average and making a difference in the community:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DR7HcqsBOdg

I’ve been at the bar when Munson has that exact look on his face. Always a good time for me. All right let’s get to some Tuesday lines. I must say what in the fuck is up with going to 17 different websites to find all the info needed to craft meaningless self-serving lines! I donated hoping whoever produced this system would invest in cyanide pills. Went looking for a cyanide funny movie scene clip and not only were all the clips devoid of humor. Now I have to be on some “Hello Clarice…” list:

This was me and Hungus the first time we hung out in 2003. Hungus is Jim Carrey.

Early Tuesday A:

Oddballs (9-2) -2.5 versus S.O.D.: Battle of the brothers. Brooklyn recently got employee of the month at Sopo Parks and Rec for firing his idiot brother LL Cool J (Brooklyn’s words not mine, I fancy LL a genius) for doing triple lindys off the swing sets. LL also went butt naked down a wooden slide which resulted in a shit-ton of splinters and was very LL uncool J. That forced Brooklyn’s hand and he had to let his brother go leading to an award. One free coffee and he got to park in the shallow end of the therapy pool for half a week. It’s a 6:30 start so the boys won’t be able to polish off too many twisted teas before they are forced to go in and get a bucket of Mango Trulys that the Heartbreak Kid will likely boof. Danny has
crew primed for another epic run to the finals, and tomorrow they have too much to overcome. Brooklyn just fired LL last thing he is going to do is take an L from the guy. Here is top secret footage of the firing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqQ62B8xdJc

Worst thing is this happy twice. Last time if happened LL went on a penny stock binge. Thank God for DraftKings.

Saucy Posse (7-4) -2 versus Bingas (team of destiny) {4-7}: Jerk rolled in some “pro tourney” this past Sunday and gave away a pendant to person that nailed his 4-game series on the button. Someone nailed it with a 673. Jerk was like sorry it was a tough pattern that’s low for me. 673 is a dream come true for all of us lifetime 150 and under BoPoers. The OG BoPo Ringer frowns upon a 168.3 series. Meanwhile that is right around Cookie’s lifetime average. Full disclosure I guessed 452 and got a middle finger emoji and no pendy. I was close. Walter’s squad is always in it to win since he kicked his entire family off the team other than himself. Saucy actually does have two pro level female matching bowlers on their team
and they are hard to beat. Line is only this close because you know Tso is all jacked up that Trump and Biden are due for another pudding wrestling match. Here is Cookie at one of his kids pre wedding festivals:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k49knyQp8L8

Bingas is game and falls in a close one, makes tourney run as always, don’t forget this team beat a pro team on TV and it literally was like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skMjcxjrOA8
Excellent shot General T!

LOS (5-6) -1 versus BEER (5-6): You won’t find a more evenly matched game on paper than this. BEER has a team average of 673.4 with a team high if 787, LOS 672.9 with a team high if 765. Lots of history of these teams beating hell out of each other. Multiple folks that will be in their 60s when their kids graduate kindergarten, but one of them is missing so he is bring in a sub with strong LOS ties. His first season in league he choked in playoffs with Precious out of town for work leading TDYOB to make a run to the semis in 2012. Then he made the first PBA Pro Am finals the first-year league play came to Bayside and got killed in finals which led to a TDYOB person getting a PBA Title. Then he provided the tech to one of the greatest bowling podcasts of all time only to get kicked off the pod and disgraced due
to (B)Ass to Mouth having better tech (allegedly). BEER has just been looking to hang out have a few beers and if they happen to win a couple games along the way so be it. Karl Fungus has seen to that. So banished rooftop sessions guys are summoned for Taxi Squad purposes tomorrow. Despite Thunder being a well documented 255 guy, among other things, advantage LOS. Here is Phil Frames shit talking Thunder at bar on Sunday about the match (sidenote-Thunder had no eye deer Phil was on LOS):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FUB8SrlQAE

Bonus clip here is Hungus opening Broadway Bowl:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0rP3UT9MtU

Ouch this will lead to a game 3 benching and no Taxi Squad for Doc!

Sharks and Strikes (5-6) -15 versus Stranger Pins (2-9): Stranger Pins only beats Parks and Rec and is one of main reasons Brooklyn fired and rehired LL. He canned Cool J in a fit of rage after going down to Stranger. Then they got second win over LL and Brooklyn rehired the dude. MacBalls and LLM got these brothers back together and the Employee of the Month stayed intact. Props to stranger making Tuesday A jump and taking out some of these behemoths. If Dick Whitman, that piss drunk cock, is reading these lines he is like what in the hell is a behemoth:

DDJ just traded Roo in for a pale white horse, put they also have the highest game on the year and should make quick work of Stranger Pins. That said the Pins have beaten both teams with the second highest league score on the year, which as we mentioned led to an employee of the month and a brother firing. Here is Brooklyn and LL after LL got hired back:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gmlphWN7Cs

Late Tuesday A:

Waste Management (8-3) +1.5 versus Sweep the Rack (7-4): Trash Island has taken the league by storm in his captaining debut assembling one of the most random and deadliest team of all time. All this team does is win. They carry one of the highest averages in the league and house a team that has only ever seen each other at the lanes. Pale Horse, Fart Nugget (shoutout to Nugget) and 69er have Sweep the Crack flying under the radar ready to pounce on someone come playoff time. I think they start said pouncing tomorrow night on WM. Here is Sweep the Crack getting ready to pounce:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1n9cypaACbA

Have kids they said it will be great.

XXX Club (5-6) -1 versus SKOL (4-7): Watch out for Tango, Roadhead, E Minor, Herk, Koops and Bora these legends don’t quit. Actually, I’m not sure they all are still part of the club. But in my mind, that’s the squad plus Buck. SKOL is a big postseason run away from Viking getting another calf tattoo. Poor guy just lost Kirk Cousins and his QB situation got worst. Here is the best play in the history of his favorite sport franchises existence:

Dude out there making plays costing his team points. I would sign that go long term the next day. Here is Viking after the loss. He is dude in endzone playing the trumpet getting nuked right at the end:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfebpLfAt8g

BARE (8-3) -1 versus Bowl Trolls (5-6): These are two legendary BoPo squads that get what it is all about and won’t remember where they are when the wake-up Wednesday afternoon. Fuge is top 5 podcast guest of all time and top 17 BoPo shirt maker. Sticky Fingers is not only a drug dealer, but he is a new podcast member. Both making him a big of a Renaissance person. Here he is trying to talk the keglers into giving him and Farmer an outright bid into the doubles tourney:
Good Will Hunting | ‘Retainer’ (HD) – Ben Affleck | MIRAMAX – YouTube
Marblesbee has been crushing pins, Gutterslut and crew will be game but, in the end, they will have to grin and BARE and close loss to Sticky and Crew, Gonna be a fun match to watch.

Minds in Gutter (2-9) versus Burners (2-9) pick em: This has major bowl off potential. Strike Ditka and Spladam are in good company of 140 average bowlers that have a 200 to their name. God damn Dick Strikes of ICBING has 3 200s and a 144.2 average that’s some bad ass ICBING type shit. Sorry just had to mention it. Welchie Saun has a 2hundo of their own. This could be a sneaky battle royale with bowloff implications. If everyone has their best game of the year, we could see some real magic:
Worst Magic Act Ever (youtube.com)
Ran at of time must get to meetings (yes, I have a job) and could no longer find the standings so lightning round:

Onggi -5 versus Big Daddies
Poultry Association +2 versus Incredibowls 11&12 5:30
NED +15 versus Strikes on Tap

Bowl Pack +3 versus Whoomp
Bowling Stones +3 versus TOTY
Brooklyn Hookers -5 versus Wrecking Balls

We inadvertently booked a few parties during playoffs, so we will work around them. No dates changed, but lanes 9/10 and 19/20 will be in play for some rounds. Which shouldn’t be a big deal, they were always used for playoffs before. Hell my only banner came in Galactic conditions, so suck it up! Gonna be pretty crazy out there.

Welcome back. It’s been a wild few weeks. Karl Fungus stopped showing up and Hungus came back to bowl. Thursday A has turned into an epic three way race for first. Y&B 2 surged past the Lesbowlians to wrap up the Thursday B crown. Doubles qualifying is proving as difficult as league. TDYOB is still winless. Anyway, a couple notes on this week’s games as we close in on the playoffs!

Thursday A: Predictions 40-7

Game of the Week

Legion of Boom (9-1) -3 vs Red White and Brew (7-3): Hungus’ title darkhorse is sitting at 9-1, and has a showdown with GOB next week. They need to win this one first, however, and RWB are dangerous. The Legion is straight ball forward with Captain Boom Hammer and the power couple of Nessquick and Sauce Boss, but then they throw in C-Span and experienced tournament bowler Keebler Elf to cover all their angles. It’s an excellent combination that has them lurking in the title chase. RWB, formerly DHD, kind of, could keep alive their slim hopes of top three seed and first round bye with a win, then a GOB win over Boom next week. That’s actually not that slim, nevermind.

Other Games

Hexy’s Hooligans (9-1) -5 vs Average Bros (5-5)

GOB (9-1) -13 vs TMX (2-8)

Sultans (3-7) -7 vs TDYOB (0-10)

Guacabowle (7-3) -5 vs BUI (3-7)

Off Constantly (3-7) -7 vs Tatts and Tits (1-9)

Thursday B (predictions: 31-17)

Game of the Week

Lions Den (8-2) -3 vs Pin Assassins (6-4): The division crown is pretty much wrapped up and certainly should be finalized by the end of the night. This is the only matchup between teams with winning records so it’s game of the week. Lion’s Den ran the table last regular season but didn’t grab the banner, so this year they are taking a different route. They are still a dangerous playoff team, and would love to stay in the top 3. Pin Assasins are having a breakout year and looking to clinch a winning record to get some playoff momentum and a home (Thursday) game for the first round. I’m sticking with the Lions.

Other Games

B&B (4-6) -5 vs Pinny Candy (2-8)

Y&B 2 (10-1) -7 vs HHP (4-6)

Expansion Pack (4-6) -7 vs ICBING (2-8)

Lesbowlians (8-2) -5 vs Bowlderdash (5-5)

Strike City (3-7) -3 vs The Kids (3-7)

Well, I’ll admit it. Totally forgot the lines last Thursday. Then I intentionally skipped them this Tuesday just to even things out. Where were we? Looks like no undefeated teams left in A, and TDYOB and TMX headed for a big March 14th showdown to get someone a win. In B the Lezbowlians are undefeated, the only undefeated team in any division of BoPo!

Great matchups tonight. Also, we have a private party on the West side, so as soon as you get in please just head over to the East.

Predictions: A 36-5 (!!!); B 27-15

Thursday A

Game of the Week: Hexy’s Hooligans (7-1) -1 vs Red, White and Brew (6-2)

After a few weeks of different names at the top, GOB is sitting in first again. These two teams are still in the mix to catch them but have little room for error. The Hooligans bounced back in a big way from their upset loss to OC with a monster win last week over previously unbeaten Guac. RWB is on a five game win streak, and their only losses were a bowloff and 1 point loss to Guac. They are very much in the mix for the division title but have to get this one. This feels like another 8-7 or bowloff type of game, but I’ll go with the Hooligans by a pin for an extra point somewhere in the match.

Other games

Guacabowle (6-1) -11 vs Tatts and Tits (1-6)

Legion of Boom (6-1) -3 vs Off Constantly (3-4)

Average Bros (4-3) -1 vs Leisure Rolls (5-3)

GOB (7-1) -9 vs Sultans (2-5)

BUI (1-6) -3 vs TMX (0-7)

Thursday B

Game of the Week: Lezbowlians (7-0) -1 vs Lion’s Den (6-2)

The Lion’s Den went undefeated last year in their first year of B, but decided to stay in B and try to repeat as division champs. They still have a shot at it, but all of a sudden they are looking up in the standings at a new leader. The Lezbowlians have been in the league since the Yankee Lanes days, and I think it’s fair to say this is by far their most successful start. The franchise has been adding talent around perennial all-star Tilt A Whirl and now have their sets sight on some hardware. A win here would essentially eliminate one threat leaving only YB2 as a challenger. A loss here and then things will be a dogfight to the final week. I think the Lezbowlians seize the opportunity here in a close match

Other Games

Party Mix (5-3) -3 vs The Kids (3-4)

Strike City (2-5) -1 vs Pinny Candy (2-5)

Expansion Pack (2-5) -1 vs Bowlderdash (3-4)

Pin Assassins (5-3) -3 vs Happy Hands (3-4)

Y&B 2 (7-1) -5 vs B&B (2-5)

Predictions: A 22-20; B 39-13

Thanks to the monster upset of Stranger Pins over Oddballs (in 2 games!) in A, and Incredibowls and NED surprising BARE and Wrecking Balls respectively, Tuesday has no more undefeated squads. BILF is the lone winless team…c’mon BILF! The B division as always is exciting, with 5 teams tied with only one loss competing for the division title and the only B playoff bye.

Tuesday A

Game of the Week: LOS (4-3) -1 vs Oddballs (5-1) The Oddballs were cruising along and getting really confident with a 5-0 start. Twisted Tea’s deal with the devil might have had an expiration date, though, as Stranger Pins walloped them in two. Now they might be a bit wobbly going up against a motivated LOS. Baby Putt has arrived and the team would like for him to grow up a winner. I’ll take LOS to catch Oddballs at the right time and hand them a second loss.

Other Games:

Stranger Pins (2-5) -1 vs Body English (1-5)

Bayside Tigers (4-3) -1 vs Bingas (4-2)

Sharks (2-4) -1 vs Sweep The Rack (2-4)

SOD (3-4) -1 vs XXX Club (3-3)

Saucy Posse (5-1) -3 vs Skol (3-4)

Tuesday B

Game of the Week: Wrecking Balls (5-1) -1 vs BARE (5-1) This game had a little more juice last week when they were both unbeaten. Maybe both teams were caught looking ahead. Anyway, here we are and both teams are still very much in the mix for the division title but the margin for error is now gone, raising the stakes a bit. Jon McEnroll has the highest average in the match, but then the Wreck has 4 dudes in the 150s. I’m going with the mid-level depth!

Other Games:

Hookers (5-1) -11 vs Minds in the Gutter (1-6)

TOTY (5-1) -1 vs NED (4-3)

Incredibowls (3-3) -3 vs Big Daddies (2-4)

Poultry Association (4-2) -5 vs Burners (1-6)

Strikes on Tap (4-2) -3 vs Bowl Pack (2-4)

Onggi (6-1) -3 vs Bowling Stones (4-2)

Bowl Trolls (1-5) -5 vs BILF (0-7)

Sorry, rushing these out. No more Tuesday undefeateds, with Stranger Pins knocking off Oddballs in the biggest upsets of the season. Thursday is down to Hexy, Guac and Lesbowlians! Tits vs TDYOB will get someone their first win, too.

On non BoPo news, the annual Speedy McSpeederson birthday tournament is tomorrow at 5, and he’s come up with some complex new formats. Don’t know where he gets it.

Predictions: A 31-4; B 23-13

Thursday A

Game of the Week

Legion of Boom (4-1) -1 vs Leisure Rolls (4-2): Magic has brought more bowlers to Bayside than anyone, and faces another of his creations in this match. The Boom were on vacation for their 1st place battle last week and will try to get back on track. MAgic will try to show them who’s their daddy.

Other Games

Hexy’s Hooligans (6-0) -5 vs Off Constantly (2-3)

Tatts and Tits (0-5) -3 vs TDYOB (0-6)

RWB (4-2) -5 vs Sultans (2-4)

GOB (5-1) -9 vs BUI (1-4)

Guacabowle (5-0) -3 vs Average Bros (3-2)

Thursday B

Game of the Week

Pin Assassins (5-1) -3 vs The Kids (2-3): Not much to choose from this week for big matchups The Kids are feisty, and they have some cross bridge connections with the Assassins. I don’t think it’ll be enough but could the best game on the early slate.

Other games

Strike City (2-3) -1 vs Bowlderdash (2-3)

Y&B 2 (5-1) -11 vs Pinny Candy (1-4)

Happy Hands (2-4) -3 vs ICBING (0-6)

Lions Den (4-2) -5 vs B&B (2-3)

Party Mix (3-3) -1 vs Expansion Pack (2-3)