Alright alright alright, Dick Whitman here, first time doing these lines, no fancy YOUTUBE videos or creative insults, thatll be next week, so lets get to it!
Cake Balls Vs Tecmo Bowl:
This one shapes up to not even be close. I think Buck coming off of his MIST win (congrats Bucky) and the rest of his team bowling well will handle these guys in 2. Buff Broadway is sneaky good and Jr Hoss won’t say a word while he rolls a 185 avg. Potato Thumb puts in some work and Deputy has a chance always and maybe steals a point or two , but this one will end quick. 13-2
Strike Gold Vs Dream Team:
This is an interesting game, both teams have strong bowlers in Cracker Jack and G-Force. I think Hakeem is starting to find his groove and Eggroll has potential to have a big game. The fun factor on this game is high. Island Boy is going to slug a pitcher or two and start getting his team pumped up to finish them off in true form. Strike Gold just won’t have enough to overcome the lower points they’d need to win this. Side note: Big Party coming off his birthday will be ready to go and this match will probably be the loudest of the evening. 11-4
OFF THE TOP ROPE VS WAB: MATCH UP OF THE NIGHT
I sat with these two captains during the draft and I’ll say this, both had a great layout and it’s showing. Everyone was too busy fighting over Nut Sauce that no one seemed to notice Herb N legend falling to Nugget. Mr Florida is an absolute beast and isn’t letting this pattern ruin his fun at all. Splinters team started a little slow, Sparetime hasn’t bowled a 200 since 2019. The Guac captain needs a big game and I think tonight will be the night.
Splinter who basically teaches everyone how to throw a ball has taken Squeaky G under his wing to make him a true assassin this season. I’m not sure I’ve seen someone get so good so fast other than Squeak. (Putt Putt doesn’t count) Everything says WAB is going to take this, but I’m picking the upset tonight and going with a game 3 win by OTTR. 8-7
Bowlers of the Hidden Temple VS Thunder Buddies:
I think this match is going to be fun. Thunder Buddies are a solid team, with General Tso leading the team average. Dick Whitman blacked out last week and bowled a 600 series and you better believe he will be looking to repeat tonight. Flatline has been slipping the last couple weeks but I suspect he will dial it in and
get back on track to be able to keep Squatch in check. Glossy has been “struggling “ this season, buying every ball in Splinters catalog, but Tommy Gunz hasn’t been and will be a hard top point to steal away. The ladies will be a factor and Kelly Kablowlski will be the deciding factor tonight. I think Thunder Buddies continue the streak and win by one. 8-7
Turkey Shooters VS Magics Gathering:
Magics team needs a win after suffering a massive lost last week. Magic himself is throwing the hardest ball I’ve ever seen him throw, like the pins are screaming in pain hard. Putt Putt will most definitely give All Day a fit for top point, after that it could be a struggle for the Gathering. Turkey Shooters are thick in the middle and that’s what it’s going to take to beat Magic. Look for Biscuit Wheels to be a factor tonight against Insanal… Magics team will have to concentrate on points 2-3 and overall to win. I’m picking Magic to win, but on paper they shouldn’t. I think this one is going to a roll off.
Well good luck everyone, remember to stay out of the way to let the staff clear out the early bowlers crap. Wear a mask, cheer your team on and BUY YOUR FUCKING BEER FRAMES!!!!!!!