LINES!

Hey Ding Dongers!  We made it to the end of our regular season without incident, and that is something to be proud of in these weird times.  Congrats to all for playing by the rules and allowing everyone a fun Thursday night all fall.  Wasn’t the same as previous years, but was by far my most fun night of the week.

As I write these lines for the last time, I want to thank you for reading them, appreciate that most of you saw the humor and spirit in which they were written, and would like to wish you all a successful end to the season.  Remember everyone, we are EARLY tonight, so show up on time and be ready to crush pins!

I feel like this season has been a real challenge on the lanes.  Tough pattern, a lot longer than previous years, rolling on it was sort of like this at first:

But, we worked on our games, tried some new things, and how did it end?

So let’s all go out like this dude!

Lots to play for.  So far Spare My Broken Hole has clinched the #1 seed, and Tales From the Pit, Double Deuce, and Make Your Mark 300 Proof are all in the playoffs, with one of them getting a bye next week.  That leaves Blue Dream, Balls of the Cave, and defending champs Baeside Rollers fighting for 2 playoff spots.  And for the eliminated FUCOVID, STD, and Flight 2020, I have this to say to you:

OK, on to the matches:

Spare My Broken Hole (-3) v. Baeside Rollers – The end of the line for the defending champs.  Been a hell of a run, but all good things must come to an end, and with a loss I see Baeside falling short of a playoff spot. 

Spare My Broken Hole has not lost to anyone in our division, their only loss coming in a crossover against Glossy’s team week 1.  Will be a great accomplishment to run the table, and the way they are rolling I like their chances tonight.

Holden has a slight advantage to lead the division in average over Tango and Nut Sauce, so you know he will be dialed in (read: drunk) tonight and will get the scores he needs to keep the crown.  Brandy dropped a 200 last week, so look out for her as well.

Holden and Heartbreak Kid make quite a team, and they can serve as a great wingman to a young guy like Jailbait.  Teach ‘em up, Holden!:

Double Deuce (-1) v. Flight 2020 – If you get to play an eliminated team in the final week of the season, that’s usually a good thing.  But Hungus’ squad is not like some pushover.  They actually know how to bowl, and will push Double Deuce tonight.

Double Deuce has been able to win because somebody goes huge almost every night.  Tonight they will need Ramrod and Pineapple to get the critical points they need for the win.  Either way they are in the playoffs, but they need a win and some help to get a bye.

At least we know Bora Bora is ready for the party after a visit to fallfest up at UMaine last weekend!

And Karl Hungus, brave pilot of Flight 2020, well, he tried to come clean with the team after they crash land their season:

Classic Hungus, of course he loves Money Pit…umm…moving on.

FUCOVID (-1) v. Balls of the Cave – Upset alert!!!  All the parameters are falling into place for an upset:

  1. Dutch is injured and cannot roll.  Poor guy is 30 going on 68.
  2. Rutherford Vaughn has domestic commitments that will keep him from partying to his usual standards
  3. Balls of the Cave is feeling it, and that can lead to complacency
  4. Early works much better for FUCOVID to keep the pre-game from going too long

I do expect it to be close one tonight.  McEnroll, Sticky and Farmer all have been posting some decent scores.  And in a match where the highest average of anyone is only 160, and few 180’s can make a big difference.

Of course, here is Sticky giving Farmer a ride into the match, so maybe they have no chance:

But lets not forget that Lefty visited Bobby B before the match as well:

Man, I really don’t know what to expect.  Could be one of those matches where a 132 – 130 win in game 3 is the difference.  In other words, my team has a chance!  Here’s McEnroll checking in with Lil’ Pickle about his team’s chances:

Blue Dream (-3) v. STD – Blue Dream has the wish of a playoff birth come true tonight, with Nut Sauce leading the way to a win over STD.

When it comes to the eliminated teams, there’s often some cool individual goals that people are shooting for.  Gutterboy wants to stay in the top 10 in average, with Lobsterman hot on his tail.  Hot Gravy wants to keep that average above 150.  DC has a chance to get over 150 with a big night.  White Russian can stay over 140 with a regular evening.  Those goals can often lead to great scores so I expect STD to put a scare into Blue Dream, but ultimately fall short.

I think most of us know that Nut Sauce and Splinter had to move their wedding due to Covid.  But they still had a romantic getaway at a B&B along the coast owned by her teammate Mountain Man.  Here he is making sure they are all settled in:

You’re Welcome, Mountain Man.

**************  MATCH OF THE NIGHT  **************

Tales From the Pit (-1) v. Make Your Mark 300 Proof – There is a lot to play for, as the winner of this match will likely get a first round bye in the playoffs.  For sure it’s a bye for Pit with a victory, but tie-breakers come into play if Make Your Mark wins, depending on the result of the Double Deuce match.

Expect to see big scores and tight spreads for almost every point in this match.  The battles for bottom point will be as important as the battles for top points.  I see this coming down to the huge gaggle of bowlers in the 150 range.  The team that gets those points (and a little bit of Brooklyn love) will be the one to win it.  So give me Swanny, Walter, and everyone’s favorite pre-gamer Clam Hands to get the win.

Has anyone seen Clam Hand’s cell phone?  He may have lost it at the pre-party:

Clam Hands deserves the award for having the best attitude about his videos. Appreciate you laughing at them. Tell Hexy to change my name back to its rightful moniker!!

Fun way to close the musical selections this year (Is that Dutch singing?!):

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